Water is dangerous

Anything you put in your mouth is worthy of being questioned. Is this worth it? How will this help? Will this hurt my goal? Can I do without this? Am I being weak? So many questions. I'm 149b today. This is exciting because it's the first time I've been in the 40's in so long. It's a really awesome milestone especially so quickly into this round. I saw friends yesterday and we were discussing my diet and I told them I'd lost 10lbs. My friend gasped and quickly responded - "What!?! You don't look like it?!" My other friend quickly jumped and laughed because he realized how that sounded quite rude, but she went on to clarify. The damage was done. I knew what she meant. I didn't look thinner. I still look fat. Kind of crushing, but it also made me more determined. I want ppl to take notice and realize my strength, determination, and will. When I get to 125lbs - they will have to recognize. I imagine in two weeks everyone will very clearly know I've lost weight. I just can't waiver and give into temptation. It's harder and harder to be so strict the further into the diet you go. Your body starts begins to use through it's reserves and you literally begin to feel like you're dying. On a positive note....I'm starting to recognize my body again. I'm starting to remember what it was like to see a perfectly flat stomach and a bony back. I have one thing in my advantage. I have a naturally small frame - especially my upper body. Even at my heavier weights you can still see my collar bones, etc. But now that I'm losing weight I'm starting to be able to see bones in my back more clearly. It's a result I don't think you get with normal weight loss. There is something about starving that affects you differently and you really start to look gaunt and boney. I know this because I have been 140lbs on a normal eating regimen and 140lbs on a starving regimen. The two look very different. I know I haven't lost 11lbs of fat, but I have probably lost at least 6 lbs of true fat. I know because my clothes are starting to fit differently and my waist is getting smaller. Even my thighs are beginning to change. My thighs in general are much different than they have ever been - more toned in general. I believe this is from all the walking I do in the city. Now coupled with the weight loss they are starting to look very good and it's making me hopeful about wearing shorts this summer. I'm so excited to wear little shorts and be skinny and go out with friends and have people be jealous of how thin I am. I can't wait. As I previously mentioned, the goal is to get to at least 145lbs by Saturday. I think I can do better than that, but I don't want to be disappointed if I don't. I think and ideal situation and not totally impossible would be to hit 143lbs by Saturday, but who knows what may actually happen. I suppose we shall see.