Going strong

So I did go to the store last night to buy batteries and they didn’t have the kind I needed for my scale. I did however stock up on foods for my diet which was great. I ate 24 carbs yesterday. Slightly over my goal of 20, but it was mainly because I couldn’t find zero carb energy drinks and I had to have a morning pick me up. Also, I’ve only had 9 carbs today so far and I feel pretty good considering the lack of food AND carbs. I think this is going to be super successful. Today at work people were discussing this girl on my team that’s super tall and skinny… with long blonde perfect hair…. Basically a model. Everyone talks about how pretty she is and I feel silly because I remember when I used to be described in those terms. It’s been so long. I know I can be 125 again and super fit. I remember summer 2014 I got down to 125 and I was soooo skinny. I was just walking down the street with my mom one day and some lady gasped and exclaimed “She’s so beautiful!” I mean she was old and probably not completely in her right mind, but still…. That sort of thing used to happen. And now I’m like a fat blob. Literally at least 30lbs heavier than that. I feel like in the past couple years I’ve become so complacent… Like I just genuinely stopped caring what I looked like. I feel like it’s been so long since I cared about guys – that’s half the problem. My serious motivator to wanting to lose weight has always been for a guy. I just haven’t been in a relationship since fall 2014. With zero interest in guys… it’s been all about doing whatever feels fun or good for me…. Aka eating. But I’ve been working in NYC in luxury since last summer…. I feel like all the girls are super thin, pretty, and stylish. I am not that way anymore. I was actually watching the Devil wears Prada a couple weeks ago and that’s basically my work environment. Anne Hathaway is considered obese at a size 6 in the movie and I’m a size 10 right now…. So just imagine what people think of me. Anyways – journaling seems to always help my motivation and keep me accountable. I even created a spreadsheet to track my food intake and weight loss yesterday. I need to get those Ketostix to see when I go into Ketosis… hopefully it happens fast. The scary, but good thing about low carb dieting is that if you have one slip up you can knock yourself out of ketosis. It puts the pressure on hard to not drop the ball. Until tomorrow…