It's worse than I thought...

Hello, So I apologize for not updating the past few days. I tend to update this at work and it's been a little busier than usual this past week. Also, I found out some really discouraging news and I was really depressed about that. So.. I think I said previously that I was around 160lbs. Apparently I'm so far gone these days that I can't even eyeball my own weight anymore(something I could previously do to the pound). I mentioned before that I needed batteries for my scale. Well one day this past week I got so impatient on waiting for the batteries that I bought one on my way home from work. When I put it in my scale was still not showing all the numbers. I could only see the bottom half of the last two numbers and from what I could tell it looked like it was reading 66.... meaning I possibly weighed 166lbs. I was panicked.... I started trying o rationalize. The scale was obviously still messed up so maybe it wasn't even calculating the number correctly. Surely I wasn't 166lbs.... I mean theres no way. Like my clothes aren't that tight right? How could I gain 10lbs in a month anyways. How could that be possible. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack. I mean this number is as fat as I was in my freshman year of college. HOW COULD I DO THIS??? I immediately went online and purchased a scale. In the following days I continued to step on the scale to see if it was really messed up or what. Later it started showing that last two FULL numbers instead of the bottom half. It said 65.4. Omg... I started to wonder if maybe this thing was right. Still, how could this be. I mean I know I wasn't eating great and there had been quite a few mines in recent weeks, but still. HOW COULD THAT BE RIGHT? The next two days I must have stepped on that thing at least 15 times. It started reading all numbers. 165.4 ...165.4... 165.4...165.4 ....165.4.... 165.4 ....165.4. I wanted to die. Even if this was right... I'd still been on adkins induction for 4-5 days at this point. Surely I'd lost more weight than the original 166? Like if this was true... How do you only lose 1 pound in an entire week of carb deprivation. Well yesterday the morning the new scale came. I opened the box first thing that morning. Stepped on the scale and it said 164. I was crushed. The first scale had to be generally right because now two scales were telling me pretty much the same thing. Interestedly enough... I stepped on the new scale at least 20 times yesterday and at least 20% of the time it read 157. In my mind 157 seems to make more sense with what i felt I looked like and based on my clothes but still.... I couldn't ignore the fact that 80% of the time it read 164. Tis morning i weighted myself and I was 163. I stepped on the scale an hour later and once again 157. I have to assume at this point that I truly am in the 160's or this scale is just horribly wicked. In any case I've just had to resolve myself that these are my circumstances and this must be my jumping off point. I will say though that it is pretty disheartening to realize I've only lost 3lbs then in the course of this week. Thats petty compared to what i normally do during the first week of a major diet. I feel like I've been so strict too. Like what else could I have done any better. I'm sticking to my carb limit. I'm trying to make the bulk of my carbs vegetables. It just makes me wonder if I shouldn't give this up for my starvation diet. I just worry now that if I switch off of this now that I will suddenly balloon because that tends to happen when you quit a low carb diet. I feel that I have to at least stick to this till I'm in the 140's and then I can re-strategize. I feel pretty terrible on this diet too.... which makes it even more frustrating that I've done all of this for 3 measly pounds. On Thursday night I actually fainted. I've never fainted before even with all the crazyyyyy extreme diets I've done in my life like 100 calories or less a day... i've still never fainted. I'm just generally feeling super weak and fatigued. People say this goes away within two weeks so I'm hoping thats the case. My parents come in 10 days. I have to lose at least 10 more pounds before they come. I feel the only way to really kick this into high gear is to work out, but given my fainting episode I'm kind of scared to try. It's hard to walk around let alone run. I just know that when I do cardio on low carb.... the weight has melted off. I don't know what to do... I just can't believe this weight is my reality right now.... i can't believe I have been blind to my obesity. I can't believe I've allowed myself to be seen in public like this. I can't believe this is the only impression some people have of me. Till tomorrow.