Wednesday, February 23, 2011

So...

I haven't posted in over a week. That is because my life has been all over the place. i'm so trapped by this 100 calories that I just CAN'T do anything else at this point. I'm miserable on it most of the time. I'm weak, I'm hungry, and I'm more prone to binge whenever my will power really falls through, but I can't help it. When I eat I feel ugly and weak and pathetic and average. Starving makes me feel as close to beautiful as i'll ever feel. But eating last week was an important thing because it made me realize that I do enjoy a purely vegetable diet at least as far as eating goes.
It also made me realize that I am never binging on anything but vegetables again. Also the next time I break down and eat it will be with broccoli and not chips, ect.

The problem is that over a week ago I was binge eating alot and instead of 100 calorie dieting the binge weight off quickly I just ate a 600-1000 calorie diet of vegetables so I was just sitting on all this weight i had gained through binging.

Anyways sunday night it hit me that I wanted to get this weight back under control and that I missed 100 calorie dieting...so I started this past Monday. I'm 140 today. I'm really unhappy about that but I've been doing the diet AND going to the gym regularly. I burned 250 calories on Monday and 300+ yesterday. So I'm burning alot more than I'm taking in.

The plan this time around is that I'm not quitting 100 calories until I hit 130. I'm not sure if my will power will last and I'm really sad that I have to starve through my birthday, but I was hoping this added exercise will help me drop the weight even more quickly than 1 lb a day.
I'm sooooo close to my goals. At least I've been so close to my goals. I was 14lbs away from being underweight and I gave in. Ever since then it's taken everything to get back to this level of commitment to the plan. I've just GOT to be 130 by NEXT weekend(I should hit it by 3/5 or sooner?)

We will see.

Also thanks so much for the encouraging comment, A! btw you're such a thinspiration after seeing your blog = )

1 comment:

  1. omg you have been doing amazing. Its been a while since I have been o blogger but I am glad to see your doing so well. I have could never do 100kcal a day! so go you. and thanks for the comment.

    xxx

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