Long and obnoxious

I apologize for this post in advance. It's me just word vomiting all my frustrations of late. That whole rejection from the guy I liked....that hurt. That hurt realllllly bad. It's so much easier to stay along and be bottled up, but if you never take a risk then you have to live with this nagging feeling that something better might have been. At this point though I feel like I'm never trying again. I will say though....it's just not fair that all day I get harassed or hit on by unappealing, unattractive guys ....and not even just that....sometimes actually hot guys, but when I finally want someone back....they never want me. Actually sometimes I think even if I were to pay attention to the guys hitting on me...they would suddenly realize they didn't want me. Have you heard that song "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes?? That song is exactly how I feel....exactly. I just want someone to want me....currently not even my friends seem to want me. So basically I feel like that whole incident with the guy was to show me that I need to just completely keep to myself and focus on my diet and exercise. Happiness may be at 115....when i can finally love my body I might be able to receive love from someone. I won't love myself until at least 115. I'm still 126. Weight doesn't move as fast the thinner you get, but I did measure my waist at 25 inches today..so that was awesome. ttyl