Steady as She Goes

So I'm 152 today. I'm really shocked that I haven't hit 151... or even 150. Im sticking to my diet - and actually the only real difference between my dieting now and in 2010 is that Im watching my carbs too. So if anything I should be losing faster. Whatever - weight loss is weight loss. I will say last fall I was about 147ish on the regular. I was watching what I ate more and my diet was very regular. The thing is I had a lot of clothes that I wore for work that I really liked and I used to think I was really pretty in them. Unfortunately since Ive been gaining and gaining I stopped being able to wear them. I tried to put them on yesterday and they fit! I was pushing to fit into them by Monday because I have a three day assignment for work that will require me to wear those outfits so Im relieved about that. I've been trying to plan when I will start to alter the diet - as in add in more calories or relax a bit. I don't really know whats best. I know I won't feel 100% comfortable doing it until I hit my goal weight, but given that the likelihood of me being at goal is a month or two away and I can't sustain this limited diet that long - I need to be calculated. I am hoping that I can be 145 by the end of the month. That gives me 12 days to lose 7lbs. Which I think is totally doable. Also October is the month my friend is visiting so I think if I plan to be 145 by EOM then I can be 140 easily by the time he actually arrives in mid October. I think I will give myself a huge cheat meal on October 1st. It's a Saturday and I think if I can hit maybe 144 by the I will be safe of my cheat meal not taking me out of the 140's. Thats really all I'm concerned about. This cheat can't put me back where I am now. I don't know if I can cheat though. It will be pushing on two months at that point and it gets harder to let go the longer you're in this. All I know is I thought long and hard about ordering a large extra cheese pizza last night and I just knew I couldn't because I wouldn't fit in anything and also with my hair being so short I can afford to have a bloated carb face. All I know is I have got to find a constructive planned cheat or I will break entirely and I can't do that either. I found an old picture in my blog that I posted in October 2010. I was like 139 in the photo. I looked so thin! It was awesome! I need to find all my old pictures and hang them around this apartment. That would provide some good motivation. Btw despite my recent use of laxatives... I still look bloated. I think its a combination of pre-period bloat and that miracle rice. I should be starting my period in the next couple days and I know you're always heaviest right before your period so I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Anyways Im off to run some errands and get some exercise. It's a nice cool day so it should be pleasant. Bye!