This is ridiculous

I've been trying to write something for over an hour and I just don't know what to say. I'm still sticking to the diet. I ate around 230 calories today. I weighed in at 155 this morning. Tonight I weighed myself when I got in from work and I was 156. I'm not going to the bathroom! I'm very bloated... i can see it and feel it. On top of that - my hormones are all out of whack so Im very positive I'm retaining water. Also In the last two days I broke out like crazy. I literally have not had over 15 grams of sugar in like 5 weeks. And thats being generous because in the last two weeks I'm averaging 2 grams of sugar a day. I took a laxative tonight and I just hope things are better on the scale in the morning. I was reading some old posts yesterday and I had no idea how many laxatives I used to take! I literally took 25 one night!! Like WTH! Was I trying to kill myself? I think if I can just focus on flushing out my system this over the next couple days then I should definitely be 149 by Sunday because I haven't wavered. I feel like I can stay rock solid on this diet till at least the end of the month. I'm just hoping that if I can stick this out to the end of the month that I can have one big cheat day and then restart. If I lose around a pound a day till October 1st- that will put me right at 139lbs. I think it would be safe to have a cheat day at that weight. That would be a real accomplishment because I haven't been in the 130's for exactly 2yrs as of this fall. I'm going to win this guys.... I really feel it and I really believe it. I have all the tools and the motivation is here. See you at 153.