Whenever I start down a serious diet, it’s like my eyes become opened to reality. It’s as if I take off blinders. I just can’t believe the weight I’m at. I’m literally back at square one of my weight loss battle and actually a little worse!
I’m 191 today. I’ve lost 8lbs in 7 days which is great, but I’m still here!
I know I keep blaming the antidepressants but I really have too. I mentally feel like I’m coming out of a fog. They made me so numb and it’s almost like life really was a simulation. I can’t explain it, but I FEEL things now.
I can’t say the diet is without any challenges, but trust me - there is no way I would have been able to last a day on this when I was on the ADs.
I’ve fallen into a copy paste diet where I literally just eat the same exact things at the same exact time everyday. I can’t explain this but the ED side of me always viewed this as “safe”. To deviate from what had brought me success was to fail/give up and the only acceptable behavior is then to do anything that potentially “one ups” the standard or essentially is more restricting.
The next few days will be tough as I’m about to start my period and assume I’ll be hungrier.
Today’s diet: 950 cal.
Hamburger: 290
Wrap: 50
Lite mayo: 35
Cheese: 40
Broccoli: 60
Dressing:35
FF dipping sauce: 100
Lime jello: 15
Lean turkey: 150
Broccoli: 60
Blueberries: 80
Black bean snaps: 35
Today I used the last of these more fattening burger patties I purchased last week so now I will be eating only leaner meats. This will shave off around 140 calories daily... for the next few days.
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