192

I read through old entries the other day and it’s funny to compare my experience now vs then. Yesterday I hate 1000 calories.... not great and 100 more than I would have liked. Really I would have liked 500, but I’m trying to create a 1000 calorie daily deficit at least and eating 1000 yesterday didn’t achieve that. 

That being said I woke up at 192 first thing which was NOT expected. I was thinking I would be 194 and then after a couple bathroom trips would end up at 193. 🤷‍♀️

I’m wondering when the wall is going to come. I know this won’t last long at my current calorie intake. In any case I’ve lost 8 pounds in maybe 5 days?? I think. 

I’m convinced all these years if diet struggle and inability to drop weight were the antidepressants. I’m telling you I have tried a thousand times harder before and seen wayyyyy less results. The only difference was ADs. 

I took “before” photos today and it was a real wake up call. You go so long gaining weight or avoiding really looking at yourself that you don’t even know what you really look like. I mean I really felt like I didn’t look that different than my skinny days LOL and then I took photos..... 

It’s okay... it’s not about what I am.... it’s about what I will be.