Not great

I’m depressed. Really no point in beating around the bush. Weight loss is stalled. I haven’t felt great - weak/fatigued. I’m lonely. Still not talking to family. 

I think I’ve just lost sight of the hope I had a couple weeks ago when I started and I need to do a better job of keeping that front of mind. Otherwise it’s too easy to focus on whatever discomfort I’m currently facing. I’ve been in a consistent calorie deficit of at least 1000, but I need to do much better. I also think some level of constipation is screwing with the scales.

On Saturday I weighed in at 185 and I was so excited. It was 185.2 which was so well within 185 I didn’t think to “re weigh” which is kind of my standard double check. I can’t remember now how this came about, but I did end up weighing later and it was 186. It was like the scale had glitched. I weighed and reweighed and it was 186. So I hadn’t actually lost anything. Since then I’ve stayed at 186 or weighed in at 187 depending on how much water weight I’m holding/constipation. 

I think Friday I’d had around 300 calories...maybe Saturday too? But Sunday and yesterday I had around 800. So there is no reason to be THIS stalled. 

I might be able to breathe a little in the 70’s but I’ll never get there at this rate.