Progress should be daily

I didn't hit 138...idk why either! I did my diet exactly! I guess my metabolism did crash, but I was so upset about not seeing 138 this morning that I couldn't bring myself to follow through with the broccoli plan I had agreed upon...Eating like that would only make me feel worse. Instead I stuck to diet and ate my usual:

Toast: 100
Vegan link: 50
=150

I mean I guess I should drop the vegan link but thats the only thing keeping me from passing out! I'm exhausted non stop...if I eat any less I'll probably drop dead rather than drop weight.

I know the broccoli is inevitable, but I also know that eating it today feels wrong so i can't. I think maybe I'll do it tomorrow once I have it better planned out.
Here's how I think it will go:
1 cup of steamed broccoli every hour on the hour from the time I wake up till I go to bed for 2 days. Then resume my 100 calorie business. I think eating that consistently, but that little will be enough to boost my metabolism back up a bit. I don't think I should gain any weight because even if I have about 10 cups of it(which is what I'm figuring I'll have) then I'll still have only had 300 calories AND it's got no fat and only a few carbs...So really it may be better for me than my 100 calorie business. The sad thing is that I won't be able to weigh for two days(which makes me feel out of control) anddddd I will most likely feel fat. Very fat. Because anything outside of my safe zone(100 calorie diet) makes me feel like a heffer and therefore depressed.

So I'm thinking if by eating the broccoli I can boost my metabolism and maintain my weight(which will hopefully be 138 by tonight or tomorrow) then I can resume diet on Wednesday which gives me just enough time to hit 135 by my next work day....which meanssss I will be thinner by the next time my co-workers see me.

do I sound insane? I feel insane. I feel truly out of control and miserable. I just want to keep eating 100 calories and losing a pound a day and get this weight loss over with! My drive is not the problem right now...it's my body!! ughhhh

I'll probably update tonight...