This is HARRRD!

Im so cranky today and I know it's because I'm so hungry. I definitely used to get snippy when I was doing 100 calories, but I think it's worse today because I'm just not used to it. I'm so in the habit of eating that its really hard to get out of that mindset....so it's like I'm arguing in my mind all day against my desires and then I just snap at anyone who comes along. = (

Anyways I've stayed on track.

I ate:

Toast: 100
Jello: 60

= 160 calories

It's just such a struggle. Like I was super motivated when I woke up....and then I thought about binging....then I was super motivated and then my Mom and I went grocery shopping and I got soooo irritated looking at the food.
Anyways I just want to go to bed but I have to go to a class. A class I hate btw....

I weigh 144 today so thats encouraging, but my will power is just not where I want it to be right now.
I will say though that if I break this dieting streak before I hit 137/138 I think it will be enough to reallllllly kill me in my dieting endeavours. I seriously have lost+gained these same few pounds over and over for months! I'm sick of seeing these numbers! I want to be at a new point! 139 is the lowest I've gotten so I HAVE to see 138 at leasttttt before I can take a day break. In reality I think I'll need to hit 135 before it's safe to binge, but I'm planning this binge carefully. I think purging will also be necessary on that day. Anyways we'll see.


Evie: thanks so much for the kind words! believe me I need to exercise...I'm all fat and nooooo muscle. It's really unattractive! The thing about your diet is that you stick to your plans! I'm always falling off and then having to recover from the binges! Anyways I look forward to a blog soon!