So I'm just discouraged today because I did what I knew i shouldn't...weigh myself. I never weigh myself until 2 days after a binge because you have to wait for everything to balance back out. I know myself and seeing a high number can trigger a binge. Well before I got on I prepared myself by thinking worst case scenerio....143. Well i stepped on (btw another reason I shouldn't have gotten on andddd why I guess-timated 143 is because I have probably 2lbs of liquid in me...I just had had a bunch to drink) the scale and guess what! 143... = (. Well I went to the bathroom several more times and expected to step back on the scale seeing 142 at least, but no...still 143! The first time I saw 143 I was okay, but after having gotten rid of quite a bit of liquids and still seeing it...well I was devastated....and I instantly thought about binging...but decided no. I just need to wait it out until tomorrow and I'm hoping and guessing that i'll actually weigh 141. I think 141 sounds about right because I usually "gain" 2-3 pounds after a binge. If I actually weigh 141 I am ok with that number....but 143 for real would be crushing.
If I do weigh 141 tomorrow than I possibly have a chance at hitting 135 by the end of the month, but only that... ughhh
So frustrating. Soooooo frustrating.
I just want in the lower 130's, but I'll never get there without some serious hardcore dieting and recoup days...and NO binging.
Today I ate:
Toast: 100 calories
.................
So yea..I'm back on the plan. I just hope the plan is back with me.
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