I think today was especially challenging because today I was especially empty. See I haven't really been using the bathroom(if you get my drift) since the whole exlax binge. I know this is because my system is all out of whack now...so I decided I needed to substitute my toast for grapes to get my body functioning normally and maybe drop more weight. So I basically had 100 calories in grapes and then 1 vegan link for some substance. It worked = )
So I think I took in around 140 calories. It's even more calories than I normally eat, but they were made up of "chore" foods and not something I actually wanted...like toast. Also I only had one cup of tea. So that's all I lived on today. Normally I have lots of tea throughout the day.
So yea it was pretty tough food wise.
People at work are starting to ask alot of questions. I know they talk when I'm not around because if they say the things they do to my face then I'm sure they say more behind my back. I'm being asked flat out if I starve myself. (who would honestly confess this btw???) Obviously I'm way thinner than they've ever seen me and it really is coming off super fast considering how MOST people lose weight. I'm 148 today and I truly am seeing that this dream will be a reality. Sooooon sooon sooon!
Maybe I'm over-excited too early, but when you lose like 50+ in a year I think 27 pounds seems do-able. = ) I will be 147 tomorrow I know. I'm just wondering how long I can keep up my 100 calorie/1 pound loss days until my will power weakens again. This time it won't be 1500 calories....it will be 300-400. I won't sabotage myself again.
your doing amazing hunnie.
ReplyDeleteI don't the bedroom thing several times before until I nearly got caught. I don't have a lock on my room but I am thinking of getting one. But if I get one now then My mum and dad will be upset with me thinking its becasue my grand parents are here. so not sure how to go about it.
Btw you are doing sooo good. I gained. I am at my heaviest now. 79.4kg
I can gain in 1-2 kg a day but not lose 1kg in a day, wtf.
I am going to try fast today or keep my kcals under 500.
Wish me luck.
Hopefully I will be as good as you.
xx
I'm so sorry that it's gotten difficult to conceal things. = ( The hardest thing about the whole ED issue is the lying/concealing/secrets. I struggle with my co workers so I can't even imagine having to hide everything from your family. I hope you can find a solution!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! You're too sweet = )
500 calories has been a number I've gone back to a million times throughout the past few months and honestly I think thats where anyone would be most successful. I hope you had a great day with everything! You can totally do this!