179 and a lot of drama

 I’ve totally lost my way. This weekend was going to be this amazing push where I got well within the 170s but I’ve totally stalled. Last week I was 100% following my diet and losing nothing. Friday I went tanning and burnt myself terribly only to be even heavier on Saturday. Turns out sunburns cause water retention. So I didn’t lose anything that day. Then Sunday pretty much same thing. Can’t remember the exact number but probably 181/182.

Monday was my day to really come out of the plateau and I did....barely. I hit 179, but I’m not completely convinced it was real even though I hit it twice. The scale was just being kind of bizarre so idk.

In any case, I logged it. So 21 lbs down.

The weekend was horrible though in terms of diet. I never completely blew it, but they were high calorie days - like 700/800. Tuesday is when I really cheated and had 1000 calorie day, as well as, higher carbs. I think I netted around 40. 

Yesterday I was at 800. I don’t consider yesterday a cheat because my calories were made up of still “on plan” food like broccoli, but just too much.

So anyways, I’m not where I need to be. I weighed in at 186 today, but I majorly swollen. Like my eyes are small I’m so swollen. I think I ate a lot of salt the past two days and higher carbs don’t help either.

Today I’ve got to be back. My period starts this weekend and honestly I’m having a lot of emotional PMS symptoms so I can only imagine how much it’s impacting me physically. I know my period stops my progress every time, but if I can push past this - I will see a major change.

I can’t forget all my goals. Yes, this week has sucked, but it’s my period - I can still do this. I just have to fight. 

This is happening

 So I believe the last day I wrote was the day I decided I needed to up my calories/carbs for a day. I was worried I was really going do to some damage because I had burned SOO much and done so on practically no carbs/calories. I felt like my kidneys were hurting.

That day I think I had 30 carbs, but 20 or less net carbs. Calories were 660. 

I’m actually really proud of that because that’s something I never had control with before. Being able to increase or decrease based on physical needs and not just from “wants”. 

In any case, I’ve lost nothing. In fact yesterday I couldn’t get the scale off 184/185. I know I haven’t actual,y gained weight, but something weird is going on with water retention. Tuesday I took one laxative - a mild one and I think it’s kicking in today.

I was 182 today so I’m hopeful one that kicks in and I lose some of this water Renton I can be 178 this weekend.that will be my thinnest for the year so far. 🙄 well actually 177 will be my thinnest, but prior the thinnest I’ve been this year is 178 back in early April. 

I’m trying not to get totally hung up on the scale and just focus on maintaining my diet. I know I’m in a huge calorie deficit and that’s what matters most. I’m also 11lbs from the 60’s and less than 20 from “healthy”. 

I cut off my hair this past weekend and I’m going and getting it dramatically colored this weekend. I haven’t done that in years because my hair is my security blanket and I always hide my weight behind it. Short hair is exposing. I always think I’ll do things like this once I lose the weight, but it was important for me to just do it because I AM GOING TO LOSE THIS! This IS happening and I have to keep it real this way. 

Phases

 

Well after an amazing weekend.... it’s all over. 

Yesterday I was 181. This was after an intense workout of pushing myself past what I would have ever thought I had in me. My total burn yesterday in elevated heart zones was over 1000 calories which I haven’t done in any recent memory. 

I had a net difference of around 5000 calories total the past two days so it’s discouraging when there is no reward for the effort.

In any case I weighed in today at 182..... 🙄

The only difference yesterday was I allowed myself a jello cup. I was genuinely worried yesterday because I felt so sick last night and my keystones registered crazy high at one point yesterday. I was worried I was experiencing ketoacidosis(sp). 

I just was really lightheaded and I had a bad headache. 

In any case, regardless of the scale I know how hard I’ve worked. I’m taking it easy today and the most I’ll do is walk to get my mail, but otherwise I’m resting.

I think I’m retaining water and that’s more of the issue right now, but I’ve been drinking a lot in an attempt to flush out any retention. I’m talking 96oz. At least.

It will catch up eventually, but I just wish it was sooner, I want to see the 70’s.