This is happening

 So I believe the last day I wrote was the day I decided I needed to up my calories/carbs for a day. I was worried I was really going do to some damage because I had burned SOO much and done so on practically no carbs/calories. I felt like my kidneys were hurting.

That day I think I had 30 carbs, but 20 or less net carbs. Calories were 660. 

I’m actually really proud of that because that’s something I never had control with before. Being able to increase or decrease based on physical needs and not just from “wants”. 

In any case, I’ve lost nothing. In fact yesterday I couldn’t get the scale off 184/185. I know I haven’t actual,y gained weight, but something weird is going on with water retention. Tuesday I took one laxative - a mild one and I think it’s kicking in today.

I was 182 today so I’m hopeful one that kicks in and I lose some of this water Renton I can be 178 this weekend.that will be my thinnest for the year so far. 🙄 well actually 177 will be my thinnest, but prior the thinnest I’ve been this year is 178 back in early April. 

I’m trying not to get totally hung up on the scale and just focus on maintaining my diet. I know I’m in a huge calorie deficit and that’s what matters most. I’m also 11lbs from the 60’s and less than 20 from “healthy”. 

I cut off my hair this past weekend and I’m going and getting it dramatically colored this weekend. I haven’t done that in years because my hair is my security blanket and I always hide my weight behind it. Short hair is exposing. I always think I’ll do things like this once I lose the weight, but it was important for me to just do it because I AM GOING TO LOSE THIS! This IS happening and I have to keep it real this way.